A majority of young adults say that their ideal relationship would be an egalitarian one. Yet achieving equal dynamics within a relationship can be difficult.

On this Valentine’s Day, it’s important to ask, what do couples really want in their relationships?

Recent research suggests that the answer is equality. A new study asked young adults between the ages of 18-32 about how they would ideally like to structure their future work and family lives. The result? The majority of both young women and men said that their ideal future relationship would be an egalitarian one, in which breadwinning and family responsibilities are shared equally between committed partners.

While lots of people may want an equal partnership, getting there is difficult. Even the best of intentions can get derailed along the way by long work hours, a lack of flexibility in most jobs and deep cultural beliefs which hold that men should provide for their families and women should be the primary parent. In the face of such headwinds, perhaps it’s not surprising to learn that a survey of those in dual-earner marriages found that only 9 percent actually reported splitting housework, childcare and earning responsibilities evenly. Sadly, many fathers end up wishing they could spend more time with their kids, and many mothers end up feeling like they need to downshift their ambitions or put their careers on hold altogether.

This article was originally published February 13 2015, on LinkedIn.com